Eavesdropping
by iWatchtv
Summary: Abby's curious. McGee has to stop giving in if he wants to see his next birthday. Tiva. Some of you probably know where this is going.
1. Chapter 1

Timothy McGee had made some incredibly stupid decisions in his life.

Buying car insurance online.

Internet dating.

Speed dating.

Speed dating over the internet.

Vista. Strike that. Ever making the switch from a Mac to windows.

Yet, all of these paled in the face of the idiocy he was about to engage in. His past mistakes certainly had never held the possibility of death.

In contrast, the only uncertainty in this mission was whether he would be tortured before being killed.

How the hell had he been talked into this?

"Hey McGee!" The voice which had talked him into this squealed into his earpiece. "Are you ready?"

"No Abby, I'm not ready. Not even close. Why are we even doing this? Why do we care?" He whined. There was a pause.

"Timmy, you're on the awning of the restaurant, Tony And Ziva are three feet to the right. It's a bit too late to be asking silly questions like that. Just do what I told you and you'll be done before you can say 'Oh God they see me I'm gonna die'."

"That's really reassuring."

"I know! It's piece of cake."

"If it's so easy why don't you come out and do it." He muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought. Now get to work soldier."

McGee could almost hear her salute. He heaved a sigh and went to work.

The plan was relatively simple. The objective was to find out what was going on between Tony and Ziva.

For the past week, both of their moods had been wildly unpredictable. One moment they were barely speaking to each other, the next they were at each other's throats. They would share significant glances when they thought the rest of the team wasn't watching and all of their normal small talk and jibes had obvious undertones.

McGee had adopted a 'live and let live' policy towards the change in his companions relationship.

If Gibbs noticed, he didn't acknowledge it. Their work was unaffected. He probably was letting them work it own on thier own.

Ducky seemed to follow Gibbs' lead.

That however, left Abby.

Her insatiable curiosity had eventually led to a very unhappy McGee a top a very unstable roof awning.

Their method was simple. McGee would slice through the awning and lower down a small microphone over the pair in an effort to eavesdrop on their personal conversation.

McGee slowly unsheathed his knife, ironically one Abby had liberated from Ziva's desk, and cut a slit a few inches in length in the tough canvas.

He reached for the microphone, but hesitated.

"Abby," He whispered, "Do I really have to do this? I mean, I think Tony and Ziva are finally beginning to think of me as an equal."

"And?..."

"And I just think it would be a shame for me to die right now. Right after I start earning respect."

"...Just lower down the microphone Tim."

McGee silently shook his head and carefully threaded the head through the opening. As he watched wire disappear, he once again wondered how in the world Abby had gotten ahold of this.

It was one of the more high tech models used for surveillance by many federal agencies, among them the CIA, FBI, and good old Naval Criminal Investigative Service. From what he had heard, they were nearly impossible to get, even for approved missions.

When he had questioned her, all Abby had said was that a guy at the requisition desk owed her a favor.

He hadn't delved in to much after that, mainly because he didn't think he wanted to know the answer.

"STOP!" Abby shouted.

McGee froze.

"What?" He hissed.

"I'm getting something. Just a little more....got it!"

McGee listened intently as the previously indistinguishable murmur of voices gradually resolved into the familiar voices of Tony and Ziva.

McGee shifted his weight into a more stable position, oblivious of the soft sound of ripping fabric.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: This is really really short. My bad. The next chapter will hopefully be longer. And be updated sooner. AAAAND I'm gonna write another story with the NCIS sound track. Because I got it. And because it is awesome.**

**Chapter 2**

Tony gazed cooly across the table at the Ziva, who was utterly engrossed in the menu.

"They have amazing lobster." He offered.

"I know. That's why I let you pick this place."

Tony let that go.

"If you know what they have...then why are you looking at the menu?"

"To avoid looking at you."

"Um...I was planning on saying we shouldn't dance around this...but I have the feeling that won't be a problem tonight."

"Are you talking about us sleeping together?" Ziva asked, eyebrow raised.

"And there it is." Tony said more to himself than her. "I didn't expect you to be so..."

"Blunt?"

"Direct."

Tony waited for her to respond.

She didn't.

"I don't want things to become complicated, especially not at the office, but I've been thinking that-"

Ziva held up a hand to stop him.

"I know what you are going to say Tony. And I agree. That night was...enjoyable." She allowed herself a slight smile. "But I do not think it should be a, how do you say? Repeat performance."

"Of course." Tonny agreed, donning a fake smile. Something he had become very adept at lately.

" I mean, it was just a mistake. A very pleasant mistake, but a mistake nonetheless." She continued, unsure why she felt the need to rationalize her position in the face of his silence.

She wavered.

"We were drunk; not thinking clearly." She finished, not meeting his eyes.

Tony nodded slowly.

"Right. I agree completely. Except for the fact that we weren't drunk."

"If we were, it would have been easier to forget." Ziva answered quietly.

"But we weren't."

"No."

Neither spoke, neither able to vocalize the myriad emotions whirling through their minds. Why would she want to forget? Why is he agreeing? Say no. I don't want this to continue, or do I?

One of us needs to say something.

I need her to say something.

I need him to say something.

Luckily, or unluckily, they were saved from the awkward silence by one hundred and eighty-five pounds of falling McGee.


	3. Dropping In

**Note: **Okay, so second to last chapter I've decided. Then I'll have to come up with an idea for a new story. I like this onw more than the last chapter. Pretty fun to write. And also I'll be pretty busy for a while so i might not be able to post for a week or two. But other than that....I got nothing. Read and review.

Dropping In

McGee groaned.

His head hurt where he had presumably struck one of the tables. Along with numerous bruises he could already feel changing color, it felt as if some one was holding a knife to his throat.

He cracked open an eyelid.

Ziva was crouched beside him with a knife to his throat.

Awesome.

He closed his eyes again. His eyes weren't yet adjusted to the light and it certainly wasn't helping the headache he could feel coming on.

"Ziva," He moaned. "Put your damn knife away and help me up."

The pressure increased slightly.

As it turns out, when a razor sharp length of metal is held to the delicate skin of the throat, a slight increase isn't that slight at all.

"Ziva?" He asked wearily.

He opened both eyes, headache forgotten. He was beginning to suspect he had bigger problems at the moment.

A second and longer look revealed what his first perfunctory glance had missed.

Ziva's pupils were fully dilated, a testament to the amount of adrenaline currently coursing through her system.

Her jaw was clenched and her face contorted into a mask of fear, surprise and rage.

But mostly rage.

He glanced at Tony, hoping for some support. However, unfortunately for McGee, or more unfortunately as the case may be, Tony was preoccupied addressing the crowd.

"Nothing to be alarmed about folks, just resume your meals. This will all resolved shortly."

"A man just fell from the ceiling!" A voice piped up from mass of people before him.

"It's just a routine safety check, we're making sure all the awnings on the block are up to code. This one obviously isn't."

"Then why is your date holding a knife to his throat?" The voice replied once again.

"Okay, look funny guy, this isn't twenty questions. I'm NCIS." He flipped his badge. A move he'd been practicing since middle school. "And I say that this is just a routine check, okay?" He scanned the crowd searching for the voice of discontentment.

He was met by a room of dumbfounded stares.

He shook his head. He might as well let the management work it out.

He turned his attention back on his partner and McGee.

She still hasn't said a word since he had made his dramatic entrance, which wasn't good.

On the other hand, McGee wasn't lying in a pool of his own blood and still had all of his digits and limbs. That was a good.

On second that, that was probably more than he deserved.

"Tony, Tony!" McGee called out anxiously. "Can you please tell Ziva to let me go?"

"Two things McStalker. One, I'm not Ziva's keeper and I can't make her do anything."

"Well from what I heard you're her-"

"Two," Tony cut him off, "You just fell on top of a highly trained Mossad assassin from the ceiling where you were spying on her. By all rights, you should be dead."

"This was not my idea, I'm not the one you guys should be mad at!"

"Really? Some one who forced you to climb onto the restaurant awning for a little covert espionage action?"

"Yes!"

"Who?"

"Abby?" Ziva exclaimed in surprise.

"Yes!" McGee once again said, relieved. "Wait, how'd you know it was her?"

"Not you idiot." Ziva snapped. "Over there." She motioned towards the street where Abby, complete with her black parasol, had materialized.

"Abby!" Tony smiled, then faltered. "Why do you have an umbrella? It's night."

"Tony, Tony Tony." She shook her head sadly. "It's called a parasol. And do you think the sun stops emitting it's harmful rays at night?"

"Well,I mean...it does but, its..." He lapsed into silence.

Ziva gazed in amusement at her partner for a minute.

"Abby, McGee claims that you 'recruited' him to spy on us this evening. Is that true?"

Abby gasped.

"McGee what?"


	4. Repercussions

**Authors Note: **um...hi. Yes, I know it's been a long time since I posted or did, well anything , with my stories. But i've been busy. Kind of. MOre like lazy. Whatever. So this is the last chapter of eavesdropping and i tried to do something different. I didn't want to do just a plain old linear story. I made up most of the complaints (You'll know what i'm talking about when you read it) so be kind. Also, I've made a twitter account for my fanfic page. Follow me if you want updates about how my stories are going. Or not going as may be the case. Name is iwatch_tv. Alright. That's all iv'e got. I do hope the next dry spell of writing isn't as long as the last. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Now, once again, read and review. And most importantly enjoy.

**Repercussions**

Gibbs surveyed the bullpen.

Assembled there was his entire team, all wearing the same clothes they had left with and all decorated with dark bags under their eyes which screamed insomnia.

All were dutifully studying case files, valiantly struggling to be as unnoticeable as possible. Their charade might even succeeded, assuming they had a case to be working on. At the moment, there was a lull in navy related crime.

They reminded him of children, attempting to distance themselves from whatever had, or was about to, happen.

Gibbs settled into his seat, arching an eyebrow as he caught sight of the the neatly piled complaint forms patiently awaiting him.

A second glance at his team showed them working even harder on whatever it was they weren't doing. McGee beginning to sweat ever so slightly, another telltale sign that whatever those forms said was not good.

Silently he read. One after another, completely aware of the eyes upon him.

He stood up, stack of papers in hand, and strode to the center of the room.

Abby had materialized by this time and was nervously hovering near McGee's desk, but remaining close enough to the elevators that she could make a quick escape if need be.

"Drawing a concealed weapon in public." He said as tossed a sheet of paper in Ziva's direction where it leisurely floated to the ground beside her desk.

She said nothing and avoided her leader's gaze.

"Presenting credentials for personal gain." The form drifted towards Tony, landing squarely on the agent's desk.

"Destruction of Property." McGee.

"Lawsuit regarding said destruction of property." McGee.

"Wow, those lawyers sure to work fast don't they boss?" Tony's smile, as well as his vain attempt at humor, withered in the face of Gibbs' stare.

"Threat of assault with a deadly weapon." Ziva.

"Failure to pay for a goods." Tony.

"Black mailing the supply office clerk?"

"Yeah that one's for me." Abby called from the safety of the hallway.

Gibbs shook his head and stared hesitantly at the last one.

"Indecent exposure?" He questioned.

"Oh, um...That's also for me." Abby said. "And it's totally not what you think. I was just showing off my tattoo at a party. It happened over a week ago and I guess the groundskeeper just didn't turn in the complaint till now."

"You were showing off your tattoo in a park?" Tony asked incredulously.

"Oh no way. That's just weird. It was a cemetery."

Tony opened his mouth to speak, paused, then closed it again. He honestly couldn't think of an appropriate response to something like that. Of course, this was Abby, he shouldn't have been surprised.

Gibbs shook his head, crumpling the form and tossing it aside.

"As for the rest of you, what the hell were you thinking?"

"Well you see boss, I was just-" McGee began.

"Ziva and I were just catching a bite to eat and McChuckles here-" Tony broke in.

"McGee is lucky to be alive." Ziva glowered. The exchange quickly devolved into a full blown argument.

Gibbs sighed. He highly doubted he was going to get anything useful from any of them, not in this condition at the very least. He needed someway for them to clear their minds.

"Forget it." Gibbs' voice cut through the incoherent chattering of three nearly incoherent voices.

"McGee, You're to help Palmer with whatever the hell it is he does down there."

The probationary agent turned a delicate shade of green.

"Boss I really don't think I-"

"Did that sound like a suggestion to you?"

"No."

Gibbs continued glaring at him.

"I mean, No sir."

McGee hurriedly gathered his things and whisked himself down to autopsy.

"As for you two..." Gibbs eyed his two senior most agents and began rifling through his desk as they watched on in expectant silence.

"There they are." Gibbs triumphantly held up two tooth brushes.

Tony broke out into involuntary laughter.

"Hahaha...ha?" He faltered. "Boss...you're joking right?" He asked, almost hopefully.

Ziva looked on incredulously.

"You are going to punish us by making us brush our teeth? Tony I could understand, but I have always though my hygiene was of the highest caliber."

"No Ziva, he wants us to clean the restrooms. With toothbrushes. Every square inch I presume?" The last comment directed at Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded.

"Ah. That would an appropriate consequence." Ziva said, voice heavy with resignation.

The pair slowly took their respective utensils and began to move towards the head.

"One more thing, Tony, mens, Ziva, womens. Separately. I want you to clean a mess...not make one."

Both turned simultaneously, a look up surprise on Tony's face while Ziva's remained carefully expressionless.

"What are you waiting for? Go."

They hurried away much more rapidly than before.

Gibbs shook his head and returned to his desk. He quickly sensed a presence before him and looked up.

Abby stood impatiently in front of him, chewing her lip.

"Yes?"

"What about me Gibbs? Do your worst. I can take it." She crossed her arms and closed her eyes, bracing herself.

"Well, I did get this anonymous note. Maybe you can identify the tipster."

He took the pink post it note that had been underneath the pile of complaint forms.

"To whom it may concern. Abby made McGee go on the roof of the restaurant to spy on Tony and Ziva." He read aloud.

"Oh yeah, and they kind of slept together. Tony and Ziva I mean, not Abby and McGee. This was about them, not us. I mean them. The other them. You will understand. Signed the anonymous tipster."

Pause.

"XOOXO"

Abby shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

"Sounds like a toughie Gibbs. I don't know if I'd be able to decipher that code."

Gibbs shook his head.

"Why don't you check on McGee?"

Abby beamed at him.

"Whatever you say bossman." She gave him a peck on the cheek and left.

Gibbs gazed at the now empty bullpen, seeing the mess his team had left, both literal and metaphorical.

He leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. He laughed.


End file.
